Black Friday 2011: Best of Edition!…continued

black friday violence 2011

Black Friday is one of the few examples of not only how capitalism has subverted all of our dreams/minds/hopes and aspirations/sense of dignity, but, more conveniently for this blog: How bitches be crazy when it comes to shopping. This is the one area in our society in which violent crime committing females give their male counterparts a decent run for their money. Ever since the days of midnight madness women have been lining up and frothing at the mouth working themselves into a state of berserk blood lust with their credit cards holstered at the hip to buy 10$ diapers or 50% off bulk packs of whatever…who cares…it’s about the rush. That cold anticipation when the doors of Toys R US are about to open.. rush of hard adrenaline that makes the hairs stand up on the back of your neck as you sprint towards the TV section, that feeling of animal release and catharsis as you stand triumphantly over that twitching and convulsing bitch who tried to pry that last 1000 pack of Tampax from your flabby, middle-aged lady arms…

I wish this was inappropriately sexist. It’s the furthest thing from exaggeration, as the pepper-spray incident at that Wal-Mart in the San Fernando valley, as well as the MULTIPLE SHOOTINGS clearly illustrate. Men and women alike are hypnotized into doing awful things. It’s not even the fault of the good people of the U S of A. It’s these corporations who clearly have America firmly by the ovaries. The bloodier and more insane these Black Friday riots are, the more the public figures “hmmm… these deals really must be awesome” and the harder they shop next year. These businesses have actually managed to channel the human instinct to lose our shit when frightened in a fast-moving and unpredictable crowd into a highly profitable and predictable force. They have brilliantly managed to reappropriate sick thrill-seeking death sports into a profitable system. This actually becomes a socially acceptable way to get your rocks off and break the monotony of your daily banal wage-slavery alla. Fight Club, or all those British football riot culture documentaries. The answer to the growing inflation of the US dollar, the sinking value of labour, and the fact that you can’t afford all the christmas presents the TV tells your shitty kids they need to have, is not to protest against the growing offenses committed by the government, or the banks…of course not. We have the best system in the world… It’s to pull up your socks and fight ravenously for the gold coins our giggling imperial masters toss at your feet (A practice at least as old as Roman emperors like Caligula – see photo below) …and be thankful you remembered to hide that sharpened piece of scrap metal in your sock…

And where are the police? Right in line with everyone else… Well…they’re there, committing acts of brutality…but nowhere near the scale of OWS. This isn’t a bunch of hippies playing bongos making legitimate political criticism in order to inspire positive change and hold banksters accountable for their illegal actions… This is the good ol’ American market forces in action… I mean…it may be way more unhealthy, dehumanizing and violent than any Occupy Wall Street protest…but at least….(praise Jesus) it’s not Socialism!

Who’s paying for hats like that? the taxpayers…

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