Important Men’s Issues #3: Implications of White Underwear

problem with white underwear joe rogan

Hot Off The (Ab) Press!

White briefs – They are the #1 choice of male underwear models everywhere. I actually have the exact same pair this guy above is wearing! They looked great at first. I can no longer wear them however, due to some upsetting and unavoidable implications.The way they shape and form your junk is wonderful. There’s just something about white that makes one feel more clean and fresh throughout the day. Perhaps it’s the symbolism associated with the shade of white. Purity, cleanliness, virginity, innocence, angels, brides, etc. This is in fact true for the first couple of hours of owning a nice new pair of white underwear. Within a day or two, things take a drastic and negative turn for the worst. Those things are now covered with yellow stains on the front, and a slight shade of brown at the back. It’s disgusting, but its the sad reality for many men. We dribble no matter how many times we shake our unit after a piss. Our farts expel tiny particles of micro-shits into the back of our drawers. White underwear makes these nasty substances so God damned visible that they should come with some sort of magic coating that resists such impurities from our virgin cotton tighty whities. Sure, a good bleaching and wash can usually get rid of these stains, but who wants a pair of underwear you can only wear for one day? I like to get at least two days out of a pair, if not a week. You may call it gross, I call it practical. To each their own. But the ultimate shame is when your girlfriend notices these and is either disgusted or laughs at you for pissing and sharting yourself. I’ll stick to black undies from now on.

Here is a clip of Joe Rogan, Brian Redban, and Bert Kreischer talking about this important issue. I took the liberty of uploading the video to Youtube. It’s from a recent Joe Rogan Experience Podcast. It’s fucking hilarious and a ballsy proclamation by Joe. Enjoy

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